Blame Me
by Eliza S
Summary: ·Lit· Future fic. “So come on, tell me is this the end?” Oneshot


Summary: They were once together, what broke them? - "So come on, tell me is this the end?" Future fic, Lit. One-shot

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls.

A/N: Ok, this is basically a Lit that tells how after sometime together Rory and Jess broke up…I don't really know how to describe it, so just read it.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She is seated on a bench on the closest park to her apartment, the weather made her want to go out and enjoy the nice afternoon. It's been almost 7 years now since she moved in to a loft in the middle of the big city, and she is happy about the reason she did it in the first place; _Him._ Convinced that she could work wherever she wanted, live wherever she wanted and be with him at the same time, no more distances to keep them apart, she gave them a second chance.

It was painful and a bitter to remember they're not longer together but she can't help to reminiscing.

A young couple is kissing on the other side of the Washington Square Park, there for the reason why she is so moody these days she hates when she has to watch this kind of scenes and remember what she lost. Whose fault was it? Her fault? For hiding _it_ from him? Or his fault? For understanding her? Who killed their love story? It seems she can't shake those memories away, and she wonders if he is having these same thoughts too.

Trusting in him was a natural thing she didn't know why she could, but telling him about her childhood and life's concerns seemed…pleasant, be so honest and open up to him was good, at the beginning.

She remembers how he started to call her 'girlfriend' one day, introducing her to his friends and co-workers like that, trying to make her more part of his life at first she was afraid of not fitting in but he made it more easy for her, now she thinks it's lame that one kiss resolved everything between them and made her feel better, a simple hand holding calmed her nerves. Maybe it still makes her feel better, maybe it still calms her down, how could she know? She wants to forget all those little things that keep reminding her those times, it's seems unfair that all the greatest pleasures of life are related one way or another to him, to 'them'. Music, coffee, books, watch DVD's in bed on a Sunday afternoon or walk in a park. The best memory of all, or the one that most hurts now, is when he moved in. One night she shyly asked him to stay and whispered a _"for ever" _on his ear, he simply said yes with a smile on his face, a week later they were living together.

They talk from time to time, short conversations and awkward silences, but they can't grow apart they're not kids anymore all those years can't be erased from their minds or bodies. She felt like a coward for not daring to call first but she wanted to give him space to think, so she waited for him days, weeks until the phone ringed and his voice on the other end surprised her.

Rory is tired; it's already dark so she walks back to her apartment faintly hoping for him to be there waiting, waiting for her to come home and make love once more time under the sheets like they were two teenagers in love, but she knows he's somewhere else, not having these 'dreams'. She breathe and pushes the door open to an empty and dark space, in the answering machine there's a new message, the only thing waiting for her at home. _"Hey, I wanted to talk, I guess you're out. Call me back, ok? Bye"_ but she doesn't call until the other day, trying not to sound needy or desperate to be in touch with him, even though she is. This time everything goes different, no silences or sighs, they have one of those conversations they used to have like old friends that haven't seen each other in ages, but she starts wondering about if there's any 'us' in the future, if there's a chance for them _again_. Rory start asking stupid questions trying smoothly to push him into the subject. Girlfriend? Any date? A One night stand? He is smirking and asks her why so much interest; he knows but wants to hear in her own words. She is still hurt by all the chaos he caused in her life (but she caused more) she wants him back and there's no other way but by asking.

"Sometimes I wish we could just pretend"

"Rory…"

"Why? We were fine"

"We talked about it…I thought we agreed on this"

"Just tell me why, please"

"What do you want me to explain?" – he says getting a little frustrated

"Everything! You know I still love you" - silence, and she realizes what she just said – "So c'mon tell me, is this 'the end'?"

"I…I think it is"

She doesn't really hear the sound of the death line but hangs up out of reflex, she walks to her room and lay on what it used to be their bed. She feels sad, alone, empty but most of all guilty. She _loved_ him and she still does, but for _it_ she drove him away. Even if it hurts as hell she doesn't cry, she doesn't deserve to cry because now she knows it's her fault, she screw his life by doing something she never thing she would do again, cheat.

Weeks later he calls again, his voice on the voice mail was as unexpected as his message. Simple words always means too much, but she didn't read into this he called it 'an end' she just wants to move on, not a thousands _'I'm sorry, you know I still care about you' _would make her go back to their usual calls, even if it hurts she knows he doesn't mean it anymore, she doesn't want to hurt him more but she owes him a sort of answer. Late at night she dials his number and as she wishes the answering machine picks it up, the tears start to roll down her cheek against her will; finally she says "_There's no one in the world who could replace you" _

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, maybe I do need a beta. I don't know if you liked this, so please tell me.


End file.
